Thoughts on Script Writing For Animation #4

Let's pick up where I left off. We now continue with Scene 3 of my sample script pages, explaining why I chose to write what I did.

Again, for visual design, think of the Dick Tracy world of 1943, with all the caricatured images that suggestion creates in your mind. 

Scene 3

INTERIOR, THE CASABLANCA LOUNGE OF THE OASIS -- CONTINUOUS

As Pearl glides along the carpeted floor, MALE and FEMALE CUSTOMERS call out to her.
(Pearl resumes being pleasant and charming. This sets up the calm before the storm.)

FEMALE CUSTOMER #1 (O.S)

                                   "How's your son, Joey?"

PEARL

(smiling)

                                   "He's fine. Stationed in San Diego."
(Dialogue establishes that Pearl is a mother.)

MALE CUSTOMER #1 (O.S.)

                                   "Where's Carl?"

PEARL

(smiling)

                                   "In the Gaming Room."

MALE CUSTOMER #2 (O.S.)

                                   "Don't think so. I just came from there."
(Dialogue sets up the rumbling of the coming thunderstorm between Pearl and her husband Carl.)

As Pearl continues gliding, a flash of understanding passes through her.
(The first flash of lightning!)

Her expression changes from happy to suspicious to false pleasantry.
(Pearl momentarily loses her composure, but quickly slaps on a smiling mask to hide her anger from the public/paying customers.)

Without missing a beat, she turns on her heels and heads for the dancers' backstage dressing room.

(Pearl does not put off what needs to be done immediately.)

CUT TO: 

SCENE 4

INTERIOR, OUTSIDE OF BACKSTAGE DRESSING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

CARL JULES (mid-40s, dark haired, wiry, a ready smile) watches the ten laughing and chattering CHORUS DANCERS (lots of ostrich feathers and long legs) file back from their performance onstage in the The Caravan Room. The music of Cab Calloway and his orchestra is loud and jumping. 
(This sets up the scene for the impending confrontation.)

 CUT TO:

SCENE 5

FULL SHOT: BIRD'S EYE VIEW -- CONTINUOUS

Carl gently pulls aside one of the dancers (GINNIE, 20 years old, red head, long legs) and chats her up -- how are things going? And so on and so forth.
(Shows Carl as being a smooth-talking skirt-chaser.)


Loud dance band music drowns out all conversation.
(Forces the audience watching this scene to concentrate on imagining what is being said between Carl and Ginnie.)


Pearl marches up behind Carl, swings him around.
(The fuse is lit!)


Ginnie escapes into the dressing room.
(Ginnie doesn't want to get caught in the crossfire between her two bosses/wife and husband.)


Pearl reads Carl the riot act, jabbing her finger into his chest. Carl gestures "What'd I do now?" Pearl jabs a final point and leaves to go back to her duties greeting customers.
(Pearl is warning Carl and ALL the girls in her employment to keep hands off each other. Pearl is staking her claim on Carl as HER man! And that's THAT!)


Carl gestures after her "I'm innocent!"
(Shows Carl trying to save face. This also plants the seed in the audience's mind that perhaps Pearl is overly jealous and jumps to conclusions.)

FADE OUT:

 So, to quickly recap: SHOW your story on the screen, not TELL your story; and use dialogue (as sparingly as possible) to reveal what can't be shown on the screen.